Tangent Time V8: Terrible Movies

What’s up, guys! I hope everyone is having a good day. It’s Monday…that means there’s an entire week ahead. But let’s get to this weeks Tangent Time.

Yesterday, my best friend had a birthday party. So, being the fantastic friend that I am, I quickly ran into Walmart, about an hour before his party, and picked up two movies from the $3 DVD bin. As I was digging through years and years of cheap movies, (some of them good,most of them bad) I came across The Happening with Mark Wahlberg. I had never heard of it, but what I could tell immediately was that M. Night Shyamalan had directed the film. Oh boy! It has always been a mixed bag with him. But I decided to give the film a shot and buy it for my best friend. I also bought The Last Stand with Arnold Schwarzenegger, a film I had seen and really liked. Just a contingency plan of course.

After my friends’ party was over, we sat down to watch The Happening. From the very start of the film, aka. the menu screen, I had a bad feeling. I am one of those people that can make fairly good judgement calls based on a film’s box art, the studio’s involved, and yes, even the menu screen. This one was very basic, the snippets of the film playing in the menu, looked blurry and very low quality which did nothing to raise my hopes for this movie. Once we watched it, occasionally laughing at the terrible dialogue this movie had in it, we both agreed that it was pretty bad. Even Mark Wahlberg’s acting was not very good.

This got me thinking: What are the top 3 worst movies I have ever seen? I’m limiting this to three because I usually do my best to forget about terrible movies, therefore, I have the worst time recalling them.

wrath_of_the_titans_poster3: Wrath of the Titans: This film had a big budget, pretty cool special effects, and a lot of hype behind when the trailer was released. My mom actually bought this film for my birthday several years ago and I was pretty excited. My friend and I (same friend as before) watched this film and were enraged at the way it tried to do Greek Mythology. Meaning that it was completely false most of the time. Oh! We were also in stitches for a lot of the film. Parts were so hilariously dumb, like a guy who can get thrown through granite column after granite column and still be perfectly fine, that we had to stop the movie because we were laughing so hard. For your information, it wasn’t meant to be funny. Don’t watch this!

0022113722: Legend of Cougar Canyon: Has anyone ever heard of this movie? Probably not. It was supposed to be about watching a cougar in its natural habitat, but also have a story and human characters alongside it. Think of movies like Lobo or Charlie: The Lonesome Cougar. However, this movie was so confusing. First of all, nothing ever happened. The cougar just randomly roared (roared? Screamed? Hissed? I have no idea) at other animals and walked around the countryside. The characters were supposed to be descendants of certain Native American tribes. But all the film did was scare me with depictions of skulls and a legend that some of them, when they died, were trapped on earth, so you could still here they’re screams in the canyons at night. All of this combined with the fact that nothing happened! Don’t watch this movie! Just don’t! My whole family loves westerns, but this one was the worst one out of all of them.

jhrQa74SRulO5WEr3J3GJabPlQp.jpg1: 500 MPH Storm: Oh man…I found this film on Netflix and my mom and I decided to watch it. It is a tradition of ours I suppose, to watch films that we know nothing about. Sometimes it’s good, and sometimes it’s this. The film was supposed to be about catastrophes, but I think the filmmakers forgot that the movie was the catastrophe. In this film, you have terrible acting, overly rich, supposedly average American characters. I mean, the people are living in mansions for goodness sake! I’m supposed to believe that these people are underpaid?! They look like they’re doing just fine to me! Ridiculous storm sequences where the cars in front! of the main character’s car are being swept up into a massive tornado. Oh and to escape this they flee into a warehouse where the walls are glass paned panels! What?! The plot starts off just as the storm is starting, with people high-fiving and congratulating one another for completing a project that the viewer has no idea of and has never seen! What caused this storm?! You never find out! One last thing, there is a scene with a helicopter where it get’s thrown around by the storm. The sky is an apocalyptic red, fires are raging, and it looks like doomsday! So the chopper crashes with leading protagonist, or, at least, I think he’s the protagonist, and then he wakes up! Guess what?! The sky is blue! Birds are singing! The sun is shining and it looks as if it’s shaping up to be a beautiful day! What!!!!???? Dumb character’s and the worst acting I’ve ever seen make this movie a plague! DO NOT WATCH!

Alright, thanks for reading. Let me know what your worst experiences with movie’s are in the comments section. Thank you for the support and have a good week!



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