Hello. I am exhausted. My job is going well, but with that and school leaves one tired blogger (by the way, the image above is intended to look that way). It’s okay, though. In a few weeks everything will die down and then I’ll be able to think a little bit more clearly. But let’s get to tonight’s post.
A question has been lingering in my head: why do those who have so much, have so little that is important? If you are confused by this statement, that’s cool. Basically, what I am saying is that many people who have their every want attended to really have very little of the thing that matters most and that is God. As I get older, many people around me claim to follow God, but at the heart of what they believe lies a love for other things. They do not truly know God because there is not a desire to know Him. Why? Possessions, plenty of food, an isolation from death and a society that doesn’t welcome thinking beyond the surface. We don’t understand our need for Him because of all the things around us that are bolstering human kinds natural hate for the things of God. We have become numb.
If you think that I am isolating myself from this…you are wrong. I’m going to admit my struggle: I am in a crisis of faith. I have seen and felt how easy it is to simply pass by day to day concerned with self. It is comfortable, easy, thoughtless, and in some ways very carefree. If you do not comprehend what these feelings are, maybe it has because you have known God for your whole life and have not had the unfortunate state of being away from Him. I know many people like this, and for them, these words will not make a sensible sentence. They ask, “How could you grow cold when you know what Jesus has done for you?!” It is a slow fade.
In my lifetime, eighteen years which is incredibly short by the way, I have experienced two things in regard to faith.
People who love the Lord and condemn wrongdoing and sin, but fail to present it in a way that truly seems appealing (just as the things of Jesus were appealing. Hard to live, but appealing).
People who claim to love God, but do not display any repentance or some significant sign that they are willing to live what they believe.
For the most part, these two groups of people are not the same. People who truly have accepted Christ do hate sin and those who could care less usually hate only certain aspects of sin. But in my life, I have had the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with people who live differently because of God, but cannot properly convey to the world the joy they have found. They appear fake. They turn their noses up at almost anything. They say, “Well this video was using things of the world to try to evangelize people.” After dealing with these kinds of Christians, one starts to feel the burden that they produce on the people around them. Sure, they might be fine individuals with a zeal for God, but the way the persons convey the Good News stops just short of legalism. These are the individuals that have lead me to despair when I acknowledge them as an authority over or under me.
The other kind of people are the ones who know of God but are too busy and too comfortable to want to know God. I am around these people day in and day out. The reason that there are more of these people than the “steeped in doctrine” people is because being comfortable and having a flexible standard is easier than having a rigid standard. If these people were to be hit with suffering, most of them would turn to God because they recognize their need for Him in those moments of despair.
But for now, as long as we have plenty, the harvest will continue to grow and the soil will continue to harden.
I just want you to know that I do love God. I will never deny Him as my true Father. Everyone who becomes a Christian journeys through a time of doubt. My time is now. But I will continue to remember all of the things that God has done for me as I travel.
Thank you! Think of me as you will.